What are you going to do? Charge me with smoking?

March 30, 1992

Well, here it is Monday once again! Let's see... Thursday night I went out to My Pleasure, local bar that almost every Greek goes to, with my roommate Craig to have a couple of drinks, but especially to meet Lady there. We had a few and Lady finally showed up. We talked a bit and then all of a sudden somebody decided it would be cool to set off a tear gas bomb or something and everyone started violently gagging and coughing, utterly clearing out the bar. We came home and Lady called me about 2:00am. I was very excited.

Friday we had initiation. I forgot my part for a minute, but I stumbled through it! After that, I caught a few Z's and woke up at 5:30am to go to Little Rock to help my parents move into what is affectionately called the "disco house." The wallpaper has to go! Anyway, Psycho and I moved all day and then capped the evening off by going to Way Out Willie's and then went and saw Basic Instinct on the Cinema 150 dome screen. It was nice! Anyway, we came home right after that to Fayetteville. Psycho left for the Air Force about 10:30am on Sunday. I was still asleep. The last thing I remember him saying was that he wanted to rape some girl in Pomphret. He was just kidding... I hope.

Well, Sunday was devoted to cleaning my room and rearranging. Lady never called me! Wah! Well, today's another day. Anyway, it's unseasonably cold today! I just got out of Advertising and Copy Layout. We got our campaign evaluations back today. I got a 98%! Hot damn! I deserved it! The team score was only an 89%, but the A is the score in the gradebook! Yipee! Well, cool Harry who didn't do any work got a low B. He's lucky he got that! Well, I told him I got a B so he wouldn't get mad.

Oh well! I need to fill out my schedule, get a haircut, work on my Graphics lab, go to my Walt Disney World orientation and play the piano. It's about that time to go now. It's almost 11:00am and I have to go eat lunch and then go to Adv. PR. Oh joy of joys! Later on, brah!

I Have A Peg Leg At The End Of My Stump-A...

March 25, 1992

Well, here it is Hump Day already. Let’s see... I’m getting ready to go to Muley’s for my PR class. It got moved from Cafe Santa Fe, so whatever! Last night we had bowling. I really sucked. Lady and Opinionated and Snaggletooth came out to watch us, and Lady was really, really drunk. It was her birthday so it’s cool. My bowling really bit hard... grr! Some lady came in and guest spoke to our Ad/Copy Layout class today. What fun! I talked to Lady last night about midnight and I sang Happy Birthday to her. She probably won’t remember. Anyway, Royace, Craig, Pasty White and I are lip-syncing Beastie Boys for the Greek Week talent competition. We’re gonna rap “Shake Your Rump”! Oh joy of joys. Well, not much to say today. I really have to go, so there! Man, what do I have to do tonight?! I can’t think of anything. I need to clean the room. There’s my goal. I’ll do it after work and then practice the Beastie Boys thing. They are supposed to come out with a new album soon! Ya never know! Anyway.... Meanwhile! Gotta bail, laterness!

I did not have relations with that woman!

March 24, 1992

Whee! Well, here we are again. I felt the urge this afternoon to document things that are currently happening, like movies that are out, political situations, new music. Stuff like that! Alright! New font. Well, today is Lady's 21st birthday. I got her a card and I am debating whether or not to buy her a single white rose. It is our fraternity flower as well as hers! Whee! I might just be different and get her a red one. I like her a lot and cool Opinionated is just getting in the way. She told me she didn’t think Lady was my type and that I should just find someone else and she also thought she would take the liberty to tell Lady that I am also not her type. I say.... WHATEVER! I am Puddy... Boy of Destiny! I'll do whatever the hell I want to. If I want to give Lady a rose... I will! Boy, a little self confidence and self-esteem never hurts now does it? Last night we had a somewhat eventful chapter. We all did impressions of Cajun man from Saturday Night Live. Participa-shawn! Copula-shawn! Defeca-shawn! It was funny. Then I went to EC for a grade check-up. I said I was doing fine, and I truthfully am. Then DMac, Craig and I went to Fuzzy's and had a beer or two. It was actually three from a pitcher, but whose counting?! I talked to Lady some last night. I was in a bad mood so I may have confused her some. I hope the flower makes up for it. Anyway, I skipped OB again! Man, seems like I never go. I just hate that class with a mortal passion! Tonight I have to work at the Alumni Center and then our championship bowling team plays at 9:15pm. Yes! I'm ready... I'm willing... I'm broke! This morning after I woke up (finally) I ate lunch and talked with Ogle and Jackson. They said they went to River Shitty last night and some girl told Ogle that she wanted to "fuck" me. It's a girl in my orientation small group. She's alright, I guess. Maybe a little young, but who cares. I don't know if I am going to get on that or not. Knowing me, I probably will! I also called a girl named Kim Bowen... I can't really spell, much less remember her last name, but anyway, I'm thinking about asking her out if this Lady thing doesn't fall into place. Ya never know! Pope, Tippy and I went to Carrie Borescky's last night about midnight to visit. Oh what fun. I really need to clean my room tonight. Nah! I'll wait on that. Tomorrow we are having class at Cafe Santa Fe for Advanced PR. Sounds like chips and beer to me! Oh joy! Not a whole lot going on, I guess. Let's see. I still need to see Basic Instinct. That's about it. I want to get the new Pearl Jam tape, but I don't have the cash seeing as though I have bounced about 3 checks this month. Shaw! Shright! (Wayne's World Jargon!) Hmmm...

Clinton and Bush will be running against each other, I guess. I don't really care. I never considered myself politically active. I haven't talked to my little sister Sally in a long time. I wonder if she knows I exist! I'm gonna cry! Man, it's only Tuesday. Grr... oh well. I guess I need to do my PR homework really quick and then go back to the house and take care of some business. Later on!

That's Insane!

March 22, 1992

Oh joy! Well, Spring break is officially over and it's back to school time already. I guess I haven't written since Tuesday, so almost a week has gone by and I've done a lot of stuff. Wednesday was very busy! Opinionated and I finished our Kodak campaign for Ad/Copy Layout Lab. It looked really good and we presented it in front of the class. We dressed up like Bart, Homer and Marge Simpson. It was really pretty funny. I hope we get a good grade. On peer evaluations I gave Opinionated an A and I gave Harry a C because he really didn't do any work. I hope he doesn't get too pissed off!

Anyway, I didn't do much after that. I had a beer or two. I went to bed about 1:00am and I had to get up at 3:00am to go to Dallas with Cherie and Christy. Well, things got messed up and they didn't come until like 5:00am. Then we got a little lost and instead of getting to Dallas at 1:00pm like we were supposed to, we got there at 1:30pm! Whee! Anyway, we were down there for an Ad League convention. I didn't know what group I was supposed to be in so I wound up going on tours to the wrong places. I went to Storer Cable of Dallas. It was OK, but I don't think I learned much. We had a reception later that night. I caught a serious buzz from all of the free drinks. I talked to a lot of people and had fun, I guess. Then a lot of us went to Dallas Alley on the West End and went to a bar called Alley Cats. It was a weird piano bar where two dueling pianists sang dirty limericks and other songs. I got entirely too drunk. Rob kept singing these Christmas songs in a country voice. It was hilarious! I felt bad the next day, but at least I got in the right group. We went to Image Matrix, Inc. in Dallas and it was kick ass. Then we ate at some Mexican place... Mercado Juarez, I believe. Then we went to Young Country radio station. It was pretty cool. I wouldn't mind getting into the radio business someday... somehow. Then that night I sat in the hotel room at the DoubleTree Inn on Central Expressway. I walked to Mr. Gatti's and got a mushroom/pepperoni pizza and ate it in the room and watched TV all night. Fred, the guy I roomed with from Arkansas, went out with his girlfriend.

The next day, I skipped the morning meeting, packed my shit and caught a ride to Valley View Mall where Jerry and Chris and little (Lyle: The Effeminate heterosexual) picked me up. Those Chi-O's and Pi-Phi's piss me off. I'll discuss it later. Anyway, we went and got some "cold beer" - to quote Chris- and they charged me what is known as "SIN TAX" on my Coors Dry, which I might add is still in the test market and probably won't come to Arkansas for a long, long time! It's pretty good. Then that night we all went to Dallas Alley and to Gator's, another piano bar type place. Chris' girlfriend Suzanne and her friend Chelle showed up. They were not having a good time with us. Then the fun began. For dinner, Jerry, Kelly, Chris, Lyle and I went to a Bennigan's. It was close to St. Patrick's Day and we were getting all this free stuff from our waitress. It came time to tip, and chincy Lyle opted to only give 12%. It's his prerogative, I suppose, but it looks bad reflected on us as a group, I think. Then we went to Dallas Alley (I'm trying to get this all in the right order so please forgive me!) and sat at a little table outside. The waitress came by and Jerry and I ordered beers at $2.75 a pop! That bites! Steven (Lyle) ordered a Tom Collins and asked the waitress how much it cost. Here's the dialogue.... beginning with Lyle!

"How much is a Tom Collins?"
"$3.25."
"OK, I'll have that then!"
(moments later)
"Here you go sir!"
"Here's $3.75!"
"Oooh... I'm sorry but the bar won't take quarters."
"Well then how am I supposed to pay for it?"
"How about with that ten?"
"Fine"
"Hey, are you gonna tip me?"
"NO!"
"Why not?"
"Because I think you're rules are stupid!"
"Oh, so you're gonna take it out on me because you don't like the bar rules. I work for tips! I need the money!"
"Well, I'll think about it next time."
"Oh, I can't wait to come back to this table!"
GONE!!!
"She's lucky I didn't throw my drink in her face!"

The moral of the story, if there is one, is that you should be cool to your waitress. Don't throw a temper tantrum in public, especially when you're 24-years-old! That's INSANE!

Anyway, we made it back to Fayetteville on Sunday after an eventful ride with good 'ol Lyle! Anyway, my dad came and picked me up in Fayetteville and we drove back to Little Rock. I shopped a bit, saw Cape Fear and Freejack at the dollar movie. I saw The Lawnmower Man with Opinionated. It really sucked. I met her friend Danielle, too. Then on Friday I had a date with Lady. We played video games at the mall and then saw Wayne's World. Then we went back to her house and watched Saturday Night Live on tape with Jason Priestley hosting. It was funny. I had a great time with her. I didn't kiss her when I left either. I dunno! I'm just shy, I guess. Maybe next time! Well, the new Cure single came out called "High." I like it! It came out on the 19th. The entire tape comes out on April 17th, I hear. Anyway.

Meanwhile!! I got a car after selling the ol' Diesel Toyota! I got an '84 Nissan Maxima. It's really a good car. It runs! I'm so excited. Lady's birthday is tomorrow. I'm gonna get her something, but I don't know what it's gonna be yet. I still haven't got a Chia Pet, dammit! My dad had to put $100 in my account last night because I'm overdrawn like $65! Shit-ass! I love that phrase: Shit-ass. You can be a "Shit-ass" (I like that one the best) or it can be an exclamation like: "Shit-ass!" I dunno. Just a mere smidget of philosophy.

My poodle Nicholas peed on me at home this weekend. Opinionated came over and my dog would just not stop barking so I rubbed it's tummy and it shot a well-aimed stream of urine on me. Uggh! Nasty! Meanwhile, Opinionated couldn't stop laughing! Well, today I need to clean my room, read my OB, see what graphics I have due, clean my car, go to chapter, practice ritual. We initiate on Friday! Whee! I also have to go home and help my family move into their new house on Saturday. Oh joy! Oh, back to the story... Man, I can't stand some of those bitches sometimes. Man, Cherie and them are just weird. They are on a totally different wavelength. A lot of people here are. Sometime I feel like I just don't fit in! (Sympathize, please!) Anyway. Ooh, Shit! One of them is in here right now! Well, anyway. I gotta jet out and go eat lunch at the house. Later on! That's INSANE!!!!

Right Said Fred? Really?

March 10, 1992

Man, it's payday today, and I really need that check. Well, what has happened lately since I wrote last Wednesday. Homer, Opinionated and I almost have our project finished for the Kodak Weekend 25 disposable-waterproof camera. Or should I say Opinionated and I almost have it done. We worked all day Sunday on it and most of the day Monday. Homer has done very little on it and it is due tomorrow at 9:00am. It could be an all-nighter, but I don't think so. It's looking pretty good. It's 10:30am and I'm waiting for Opinionated to meet me so I can give her the pictures to color in. I drew them all and did all the lettering. Oh well.

I left Organizational Behavior early today. I got a 56% on my second test. I guess I will be dropping that one. I got an 83% on the first one, I just didn't study for this one much at all. I dunno!

Xanax, my Advanced PR teacher, liked my story about the Cross-Eyed Queen. In fact, she read it aloud to the class. I think I already wrote about that, but I 'm not sure. I'm going to Dumb Tit's as soon as I meet Homer and Opinionated at 11:00am. We have a nice-sized Graphics lab due today and I'm not looking forward to it at all... well, all but bein' with Dumb Tits.

We're going to Dallas this weekend for an advertising convention. It starts Thursday and we're leaving really early in the morning and it lasts until Saturday. Whee!

A cold front came through. I was on the roof of the house listening to the Razorback game and drinking some Bud Light Saturday, and I got sun burned. Now three days later it's 23 degrees? How insane! Well, I think I'm getting in good with Lady... I dunno! We had a party Friday night with a sorority from Conway called the Alpha Sigma Alpha's. It was alright. We started out at Tremor's and danced and stuff and then came back to the house and had a keg and jungle juice and listened to tunes up in the dorm. I was bored by about 11:00pm and I called Lady over at Opinionated's. I was a little buzzed. I kept asking her to go see Wayne's World with me at midnight, but she said no because I was drunk. Then I started whining and saying, "Oh, man!" She told me to quit saying that, so I changed "man" to "Oh, Dylan! Oh, Dylan! Grow some sideburns for me!" HellifIknowhy!

Anyway, she called back Sunday night and we talked for about a half an hour. She is pretty cool, I think. She is going to Florida for Spring Break and I'm sittin' home on my happy ass in Little Rock doing nothing but reading, I guess. I want to go to Dallas to Six Flags and see Right Said Fred ("I'm Too Sexy"), but I want Lady and Opinionated to come with. Ya never know, I may just take my brother with me!

I got thrown out of chapter last night because I was too talkative... imagine! Anyway, I made it without going to E.C. for once, and I'm off kitchen crew because no one showed up to help me last night. Did I mention I caught a girl pissing in the urinal Friday night? Well, I did. It was pretty funny.

Spring Break starts on Friday... oh joy of joys! Tomorrow is my last day of classes for the week due to the trip on Thursday. Schwing! I still want to see The Lawnmower Man by Stephen King. It's out in Little Rock, but by God it's not in Fayetteville. Sheesh.

The Cure is supposed to put out a new single next week called "Wish" or "High" or something like that. Who knows? I bought another U2 single called "One." I couldn't get tickets to the "Zoo TV" concert in Dallas because it sold out in 12 minutes. I was so royally pissed. On the catwalk... on the catwalk, yeah, I shake my little tush on the catwalk. Cuando bailo! Rehr!

It looks like I may not be able to go bowling tonight. I have a meeting about the Ad Club trip at 8:30pm tonight. Shright!

The circus was a flop, I hear. Like it was in somebody's garage or something. Oh well, if Lady couldn't go, I didn't want to go anyway! Welp, I'm gonna do a spell check and mosey on do some more priority-stricken events. I can't forget to pick up my check! Laterness!

Soy tan sexy que mi Mac...

March 4, 1992

OK. Well, it's finally hump-day and the week is almost over. My voice is still a little hoarse, but I don't mind. It sounds kinda cool, I think.

I sold my ticket to the LSU game last night for a mere $10. I had to work anyway, and I need the money. I still haven't studied for my OB test tomorrow morning. I have to work tonight and I have intramural bowling at 9:15pm. I should have time to study today if I make time.

I wanted to ask Lady to the circus on Sunday, but she was on her way out the door when I called. Oh bother. I can't figure out if I like Dumb Tits or not. She's a cool person, but a little self-insecure. She's creative and smart, but I don't think she knows it.

I have Advanced PR in about 15 minutes so I thought I would just come in and type a little bit if I could. Eric Clapton has a song out called "Tears from Heaven" and it's pretty cool. The Cure is supposed to have a new single out pretty soon as well. I'm also supposed to get U2 tickets soon. If I don't get 'em, I'll be really pissed!

Oh, well. I have on my "Ren & Stimpy" t-shirt today. It's really fly (I don't say "fly" very often.)

Today was elections for ASG. I voted and all, but I sure got tired of people handing out flyers and just plain being pesky. I need to start learning a new word everyday. I heard that a person's vocabulary stops growing at age 25 and I'm gettin' there. Well, maybe in 4 years, but still... I dunno.

So, I still have no car, no decent clothes, no money, I bounced a check to Hoffbrau... grrrrr. Anyway, time to run. I'll just write again tomorrow.

I'm too sexy for this Mac.

Back to Reality...

March 3, 1992

I can't believe it's already 3:15pm. I skipped Organizational Behavior this morning. That class is so dull, and the people in there have the IQ of Corky on Life Goes On. I have a test in there on Thursday so I will begin studying tonight.

The LSU game is tonight but I really don't know if I want to go or not. I'd just assume sell my ticket and have the money. I have a little presentation in Ad/Copy layout tomorrow so I need to shuffle off to the library and see what damage I can do. I just got out of Graphics. We had a huge lab to do. I didn't know if I was going to get it finished or not. I did.

I talked to Dumb Tits for about 3 hours last night about just about everything. I also went to the pep rally with Opinionated. We saw Lady there. We have a date function at the circus in Springdale Sunday night. I need to find a date. I haven't been to the cool circus in a long time.

I had to go to E.C. last night because I got back from Mardi Gras later than 10pm and that's the rules. A $10 fine if you don't come back by 10pm every single Sunday night. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of! I'm getting really sick of that fraternity and living in the house. Grrrrrr! I need/want an apartment so bad I could have monkey's fly out my butt! Massive. Well, I have a few things to do today so I'd best get to it. Yipee!