What's Your Name, Jerky?

November 9, 1992

Thank God! I finally filled out all the preliminary bullshit to graduate and paid my $25 bachelor's degree assessment! Agggh! All I have to do now is finish school and they will even mail my diploma to me. I am absolutely sick and tired of my torrid job at City Liquor. The place is so cheap they don't even have a sign saying City Liquor. The whole stress factor is that I sold a six-pack of Milwaukee’s Best to a 17-year-old without checking his ID and I got ticketed for it. It's not like I'm going to jail or anything for it, but it is a pain in the ass when my boss, we'll call her Liz, won't tell me the situation at hand. She took care of the lawyer and all that stuff, so I presume the store will pay the fine. I work again on Wednesday and if they say they aren't going to pay the fine than I am going to quit, dammit! Anyway....... I just want to get out of the school and stay out of trouble. I'm thinking about working for Walt Disney World again over this Christmas break. I guess it's not a break anymore because I'll be done with school -- the real world. Just what is it? I don't feel any different as a 22-year-old. I don't care, really. Well, I went to a Kappa Delta/Kappa Kappa Gamma function -- "Boot Scootin' Barn Bash." It was fun, but down-right cold. I bought a 20 dollar cowboy hat at Wal-Mart, wore it that night, and took it back the next day for a refund. Whee! Lady, Cawdrey, Carla and I all ate Tiny Tim's Pizza on the Square. It was good! The previous night was my birthday bash in the dorm of the house. "What's Your Name, Jerky!" was the theme. It was named after a tape of prank calls a guy in the house had. Oh well. I had a PA system I rented from the Physical Plant, 1000 Jell-O shots, gallons of Death Punch with stolen liquor from work, 10 cases of beer and Crown Royal raffles every half-hour! Yeah! I DJed the party and it was a blast. Drunks from all walks of life were there. Sunday, I bought myself a Robin action figure and made lunch plans with an old friend, Tim, who works at Hasting's. He's supposed to try and swing me a Cindy Crawford 1993 calendar for half price. I need to call him tonight! I went to the 4th installment of my AA meetings today. I swear, people rely so much on that group it's ridiculous. AA is a proxy for God. I don't like it. I'm going to another meeting tonight and I may forge the last one's signature. Who knows! Oh well, nothing major happening. It's really cold in Fayetteville. I only have to live here 5 more weeks! I tried calling my friend Laura from Kentucky last night, but she was out! Well, I'm gonna print all this out in case something ever happens to my disk! Here goes nothin'! Psycho wrote me in a B-Day card. Hope he get out of the Air Force soon. Bill Clinton is President-elect. It's gonna be a weird 4 years.

You can throw it up, or choke on it.

November 5, 1992

Well, Mac Daddy, it's the day before my birthday and I figured it was time to do a little journalistic writing in the ol' journal. Man, it's almost been a month since I've typed on this thing. Anyway, lot's has happened! Whee! October 18th I went to Kansas City, Mo., with Lady. We stayed at the Embassy Suites and ate at the GoJo Japanese restaurant. It was awesome. We had the best time. It was unbelievable! Then the next night we went to the U2 concert at Arrowhead Stadium. It was freezing outside, but it was an excellent show. Zoo TV tour 1992. Anyway, Opinionated, Royace, Cawdrey and Carla were all there. I was a bit drunk and kept falling down all over the place. Lady wound up driving home because I threw up after eating Taco Bell. Man, there was rice in the chicken burrito! Blech! I felt bad because I slept the entire 4 hours home. We pulled over at a Pizza Hut and on the Interstate to sleep periodically. We went to the KC Zoo that day too and there was a big orangutan that threw a rock and ice at me. We saw some sea lions too. Well, tomorrow is my birthday and I'm throwin' a big bash with alcohol I have stolen from work. I have to go to court tomorrow because I sold to a minor. I am not really worried about it right now. I need to figure out what to do. I got sick this morning in the shower, I don't know why. I feel kinda shitty. I had an interpersonal test today and I think I did OK. Right now I am starving so I am going to go to the house before I get sick again. I feel it coming on.

Maple Man

October 4, 1992


Aggh! Well, I suppose it's Sunday again! Time to see what happened since last week! Not a lot, I guess. I got a lousy 78% on my Promotional Strategy test. I didn't study too hard for it so I guess it's par for the course, eh?! I also got a 76% on my Interpersonal Communication test! I tried to use the force, but to no avail!

Well, it was a good week at work! I worked on Wednesday with Blake and we stole, and stole, and stole some more! I got out with two cases of beer, two big bottles of Jack Daniel's (one of which I sold for $14), a bottle of 100 proof Smirnoff and a thing of Kahlua! Hot damn! Brandon, another guy working there got fired for stealing cuz I guess he got sloppy! Who knows!?

I missed the Georgia Homecoming game here cuz I had to work with shitty Joan. She tried telling me some stuff about life and I tuned her out. I never really listen to her, anyway! I was late to work cuz the damned University shuts off traffic for the game! After the game, I went to Powerhouse Seafood with Lady, Sister, Royace and Opionionated. We had a good time and the food was kinda expensive.

My dad was in town the other night when we had our Hogwild party with the AD Pi's. We ate Kirby's and then I showed him around town. He saw Maple Man, the crazy guy that walks Maple St. and sleeps in Vol Walker's bathroom! Eeekk! I also got the new Peter Gabriel CD. It's alright! Only 14 more days until U2 comes to KanCity! I think I have the Saturday off before the concert. Lady and I might go get a hotel or sumpthin'!

I've been trying to work on my Career Services packet for a while now and I'm not makin' much progress. I have it all typed in on the disk, I juts can't get it to print out! Aggh! So, I think I'm going home on Friday. Lady wants to cook dinner for me. Then I'll be back on Saturday in time for work! Whee! Haw! I have about 20 hours this week. That means $100! Yes! Schwing! The new REM CD is supposed to come out soon, also. It's nice to have money. I'm $512 ahead, right now. I have to pay my ticket in Louisiana, though, too.

Anyway, I've been thinking about typing a short-story about Maple Man. I need to research it a bit first though. Gosh, I haven't been home since August. Jennifer and I are partners for this Editing project. I found out my GPA is 2.36 and my major GPA is 2.65. Kinda shitty, eh?! Oh well. If I can't get a job, I'm hauling ass back to Disney! I can always drive the monorails or clean up EPCOT! Whee!

Well, time to do a big spellchecker on this. I think I'm nearing almost 20,000 words on this journal. Not bad for 8 months! I need to buy a Mac!

Stop the presses, who's that?

September 28, 1992

Well, tonight was my first night to go to chapter in awhile. It was still the same ol' cluster-fuck it always is! It's about 10:00 p.m. and I just got back from José's cuz it's Opinionated's 21st birthday. I kinda took a "me" day mydamnself. I slept until 10:30 a.m. My Promo. Strat. class is at 9:30 a.m., and I thought I missed it. Little did I know that it was canceled today!

I got up, picked up my check from City (Shitty) Liquor ($60.50), cashed it and went to Hastings to buy B-Day cards for Opinionated, Laura and Heather. Then I went to the mall and bought Harry Connick, Jr. 20 and some silly Batman theme song CD. Whee! I wanted to buy "Letter to Elise" by the Cure, but no one had it in! Damn! Anyway, then I messed around the mall, bought a Batman annual, looked at a Batman mask that I wanted, put some cash in the bank, washed my car, bought a salad at Subway, bought some stamps, did some studying, watched Batman: The Animated Series, ate dinner, went to chapter, went to AA (I brought ol' Canada along), went to José's and now I'm here! There are an assload of people waiting to get on these Mac's, so I'm takin' my dear, sweet time. My knee is kinda buggin' so I may go to the infirmary tomorrow. That's about all I gotta say for now! Hasta, buddy!

Australian for bee-yah!

September 27, 1992


Oh, joy! Here we are in DPS again! Pardon me if my typing is shitty, I'm kinda missing part of my thumb! Here's the story! Saturday night I was going in to work. It was me, Blake and Brandon and we drank a few beers in the back cooler. Anyway, after stealing 2 road pops, a Foster's, a bottle of wine, 2 Grolsch and a can of Skoal for Canada, I was feeling pretty good. I put my Foster's behind the cooler in the beer box and later when I went to get it, I had forgotten that I had moved it and WHAM! I nipped off part of my thumb in the fan. Blood squirted all over Brandon and it hurt like hell! (I don't have a license, but I drive very well, officer!) So, I came home about 10:30pm and Lady brought me some Mickey Mouse Band-Aids and gauze. Now my thumb is all wrapped up and rarin' to go!

I came down here with the supposition that I would work on my disk for Career Services, but damn if I can find a computer with Paradox on it that works. Lady went to Carrie's services today in Tulsa, so I am here alone. It's a gorgeous day! I tried to clean my room and get organized a bit, but it didn't work out so hot. I need a bigger room! So, anyway... I will study tonight for Interp. Comm. and write my paper for Feature Writing.

Gee whiz! The U2 concert is in 20 days! I'm so excited. Hey, a computer just opened up! I gotta bolt!

Bad boys, bad boys...

September 25, 1992

Gosh! So little has happened. Time for a new font, though! Anyway, it's Friday and I just got a 78% on my Promo. Strat. test. Jeez! I've got a little, irritating wart goin' on my pointer finger on my right hand and it's really buggin'. The big news this week is that Carrie Vaughn, a Kappa Delta and a friend, died in a car wreck on the way back from Tulsa yesterday. She was visiting her boyfriend and was returning home when apparently a semi hit her when she fell asleep at the wheel. Her whole house is devastated! Grr!

I saw Singles last night with Lady. Tonight we are gonna go see Boomerang and Patriot Games at the drive-in. Anyway... I got a job at City Liquor down on School Street. It's an easy job; it's just that I really don't appreciate being scolded by Joan, my semi-boss, every day when I come in for work. I mean, without fail I get bitched out for something! I work again on Saturday night and I close, so I'm sure I'll get chewed for something. I haven't been home since school started and I'm not sure when I'll get to, either.

I still owe the phone company $65 and the Louisiana State Police $129. Oh well, life goes on and Corky is there. I watched The Simpson's and Martin last night after my 3rd installment of Ozark Guidance awareness. I haven't been back to AA since I last wrote. I sure hate that! Today I don't have any big plans. I suppose I could clean the room a bit or go out and do something worthwhile with my time.

We still don't have a cook, dammit! It's insane. I have a paper due on Tuesday as well as a test in Interpersonal Comm. I'm not too scared, though. We had a Grease-Skate party the other day. I took Erin and we had fun realizing neither of us could remember how to duplicate this lost art that we so well mastered as 6th graders. I'm waiting for the Cure to put out "A Letter to Elise" on CD Single so I can buy it. The video has been out for awhile, but no single! Grr! Anyway, like I said, nothing major is happening. I suppose I'll write more if it gets better. For now, it's the weekend and I'm gonna take a shit and relax! Au reviour!

This song is not a rebel song...

September 17, 1992

Well, I guess I've been a little lax about writing, lately. Quite a bit has happened, I guess. I got a job at City Liquor on School St. Yes, it's in a crappy part of town, but it's a job and I need cash! I work about 22 hours a week and Wednesday night was my first night. I got flashed by a big, fat drunk woman in a pick-up truck. She was nasty, but I thought it was funny.

We had initiation on Tuesday night. It went pretty good, I guess. I'm in an alcohol education program on Thursday nights from 6-8pm. It kinda sucks, but the people are funny. We laugh at the real drunks. I also have to go to AA. I hate that! The people there substitute Christ for alcohol, which I think is just as bad. An addiction is an addiction. I think these people have lost their way.

I also don't like my Death & Dying class. It is 3 hours of pure boredom in a claustrophobic-style auditorium. I bring a Walkman and talk to Lady and KJ. It kills the boredom. So... what else! I worked on the Pledge Queen contract all evening and I think I got it laid out the way I want it. Now I just have to take it to Kinko's and have them do the copies!

I got tickets to see U2 at Arrowhead stadium in KanCity. The 23rd row, no less. It's gonna be hoppin'! Me, Royace, Pasty, DMac, Lady, Carla and whoever Royace brings, are all gonna go! It's on October 18th, so it's in a month! We still don't have a cook at the house! It's pathetic. I haven't told my parents about my job yet. I want to see if I still like it after the second day. Anyway... tomorrow is Friday and I'm ready for it. I went to Career Services and picked up a packet for job interviews. I'm really scared shitless about the whole process, but I guess it's one of those college things.

Well, gotta blaze now. I'm gonna watch some TV and veg out before I crash! I'll try to write again soon!